You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and
an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least
you need a beer. --Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol
than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Madam, if you were
my wife, I would drink it. --His reply
Sir, you're drunk! --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober
and you will still be ugly. --His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have
given us stomachs. --David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class. --Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking
beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep
Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history
of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza. --Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it
from urine. --David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of
beer; they just like to pee alot. --Capital Brewery,
Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
world. --Kaiser Welhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet
beer. --Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave
Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. --George
Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer. --Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools. --For Whom the Bell Tolls,
Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on. --Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer. --Homer Simpson